Thug: The Doyles: A Boston Irish Mafia Romance by Sophie Austin

Author:Sophie Austin [Austin, Sophie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-11-28T16:00:00+00:00

14

Siobhan

I love playing in the theater here.

It’s intimate enough that I can see people’s faces as they listen to the music.

The acoustics are perfect, and there’s something about the crowd. If you’re coming to the theater to listen to a violin player in the middle of your vacation, it’s because you’re a true music lover.

Tonight’s show should be no different.

However, I find myself a bit more anxious than normal as I get ready. My goal is always a polished, professional reserve that shows I am a serious musician. That both commands the eye and doesn’t distract from what matters: the sound.

Yet tonight I find myself drawn to a dress that I know will show off my body and take extra care with my makeup and hair. The result is something that still fits with the aesthetic of a professional violinist taking the stage. But it holds open the possibility of commanding a man’s interest later in the night.

The next part of the evening flows.

An introduction, the lights dip, and to take my familiar place on the stage.

I have not always been a confident woman.

Growing up in the shadow of hard, opinionated and dominant men – especially with the expectation that I be quiet, feminine and reserved at all times – left a mark.

Am I confident in my ability to navigate any social situation with grace?

Absolutely.

Am I confident that people actually have any interest in me as a person?

Much less so.

Kieran’s excited interest about my input on his renovations has been refreshing, exciting. He listens to me in more than just a perfunctory way. The way my brothers do sometimes, patronizing and placating, trying to get me to shut up and move on to something they deem more fitting.

It’s like being smothered slowly.

But as I get lost in the music, it’s as if all those doubts melt away and I step into another version of myself.

Emotions have always been forbidden, regarded with suspicion, and discouraged. If I show too much enthusiasm, I would get long lectures about ladylike comportment and remembering how much image matters.

On the stage? That’s where I find freedom.

Riding the waves of the emotional arcs of the music, I revel in the full expression of the human experience. Joy and sadness. Love and hatred. Vast possibilities and binding constraints. It’s all there, on offer, and the more richly and wholeheartedly you are in the delivery, the better the audience responds.

It’s almost as though no time has passed when I realize I’m playing the last song.

It ends and enthusiastic applause breaks out as the lights come back on.

I stand, make a small bow, and prepare to head back for a meet and greet.

Not before I see him.

I don’t know what I expected. Every time that I have seen Kieran Doyle, he’s been casual. But tonight, you couldn’t distinguish him from any of the other guests. At least, if it weren’t for the fact that he is the single most striking man in the room. Tall, with broad shoulders, beautiful eyes and wild hair, the intensity of his gaze draws my eyes immediately.

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